tired of life

I feel so tired i could lay down and start to cry,
even though i don't even have a reason
Well i am tired of thinking of the future
what can go wrong , who will be broken..
will we break, god i so don't hope so.
And then is there her. God i already hate her.
Tall, slim, tanned, brown hair and green eyes.
She is the type of girl that can have anyone
So why shouldn't he fall for her?
the choice between a girl he can barely see or a girl that he can see at work
and at home, where i am not allowed into, his 'home'.
God i am already crying and i don't know why. He says he doesn't like her
but i know he is lying, she's attractive and nearby to reach
But if it happens, i won't hesitate to ban him out of my life.
I can't stand the idea of him leaving or anthing so if i'll never see him again, that would be great to forget him. Take a vacation, and reflect where i stand in my life. I don't want to be big, i just don't wanna stay small.