fantasy

Fantasy fills her disorderly mind.
Endless thoughts about what she must do to be kind.
Never certain about a single thing. Always a little doubting about everything
Never able to get rid of that one feeling.
Every day is a new fight, a new battle she finds herself into.
Various times she asks herself how she is going to get through.
Another day, new opportunities.
Never giving up to try, to fit in all those stupid communities
Desperate, which is what she is. Trying so hard to fit.
Earn your way in that is what she hears. Devastating words to this already broken kid.
Knifes in her back, which is what she gets all the time.
Entrust too much. For an insecure girl that isn’t really sublime!
Recognises her mistake, but makes that same mistake again and still she does by every new man.
Kind-hearted as she is, the great smile that she has. They beautiful eyes I lose myself in.
Had a good self-esteem, but that one was destroyed right at the start of her life. Direct from her beginning
Overthinking, rating herself. Wondering what she must do to be kind.
Fantasies all over her still disorderly mind.

© Copyright Jack Oosterkamp