the drug

I've been feeling alot today
last year
this time
it filled me up
made me feel alive
gasping for air

so excited
to be alive
feeling things again
made me scared and excited
for the first time
I saw the beauty
of everything

I forgot
I forgot cause after a while
the numb feeling came back
I've felt alive most times
but i've only woken up
lived
a few times

it makes me sad
when I see beauty
I can't take it in

the drug made me feel alive
for a few months
it scared me
made me excited
then it numbed me

It's waking me up again
now that I'm taking less
every feeling is a billion times
more
I see
I hear
I feel
a billion times more
than before

I'm starting to see colours
I see what they want
need

people are so boring
so predictable
I hope I'll see the beauty
of that too
soon
someday