hello my old friend

addicted to the feeling,
how did it get this far?
became my own enemy,
and got myself to war.

there are no people,
no guns or grenades.
just my own thoughts,
and a drawer full of blades.

the drawer opens,
hello my old friend!
can you help me get my thoughts?
cause i need them to end.

tears flowing fast,
no one here to stop me.
only my self doubt,
that comments who i should be.

it has happened before,
and every time i come back.
all the good times I've seen,
fading into black.

tears mix with blood,
just another line.
i just have to be careful,
not too deep, you'll be fine.

it's all good,
my tears stopped.
slowly sinking backward,
as the blade is dropped.

i never wanted to die,
it's never been a goal.
i just needed an escape,
from my own rabbit hole.

for the thoughts to be over,
and leaving my past behind.
to have control over myself,
and my fucked up mind.

i'm fine for now,
don't worry i'm still here.
just all i ever wanted,
was for the bad thoughts to disappear.

they will come back,
cause when does it ever end?
i will open the drawer and say,
hello my old friend.