Why do I try?

Why do i try, i know I’m going to fall down.
I thought I was flying, but instead I was drowning.
Never know why I’m always going down.

I’m not ready to let go, because then I never know what I could be missing.
I don’t wanna hear the sound of losing what I never found.
And still I hope I get what I’ve been chasing.
But I end up with giving up everything, and crawl to the background.

I say to everybody to stay strong, but I can’t even do it myself.
But when I’m really needed, I’m here to help.
I’m just don’t know where I’m at.
Just standing at the back.

I know what it’s like to want to die.
How it hurts to smile.
How you hurt yourself on the outside,
To try to kill the thing that’s on the inside.

But I will fight for you.
Our small and stupid conversations mean so much more than you know.