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I didn't want to see

At first I didn’t want to see, but now I am facing it.
I know how I behaved, like a little childish kid.
I thought that if I ran, everything would be fine again.
If I kept denying that you’re away, if I only did like I always had done...
Well, that I didn’t had to realize that you’re really gone.
If I convinced myself that you would come back to me one day, I lied to myself that I knew you would stay.
I know you won’t after that dream last night,
You were there, clearly in my sight.
And then it came clear to me that you won’t return...
You died there again, you were on fire... I saw you burn.
You faded away, so went up on fin air...
And i just stood still and stare.
I couldn’t do a thing,
I just stood there, watching.
I woke again, in my own bed, as the same man.
Realizing that it is just not fair,
That you’re all the way up there.
And confirming the fear that you will never be here.

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I didn't want to see