Knive in me and my life

dit is een tekst die eerst gebruikt zou worden voor een lied voor onze band, dat werd hem niet, maar het is allemaal wel een waargebeurd vehaal.

I had a rough time
I had a bad time
a had a problem

but how can they say it's my problem when they are the one's bothering me.
Yeah right! Let that sink in,
I know,, I make you think

a few years ago I got a big depression
I cut myself most people thought it was an obsession

I also had a girlfriend long blond and smart I know it
however she was a problem and nothing else.
She tried to help me but all she did was making it worse

so one night I grabbed a knive cut my arm and tried to get out of my live.
That was a bad night
so I called her and I said I couldn't handle it
I didn't know what to do

she said she would come over
and she did but it was to late
I had a gaping hole in my arm and a low heart rate
a lot happened that night and the night felt so long

I can exactly remember that night,
me and my thoughts in one big fight.
I became crazy I did not know who I was becoming

this is only the top of the iceberg
so many things happened that year,
now I feel bad knowing my father was in fear of losing me here

a lot happened before and after that moment but this changed me
next day I just went to school with a hole in my arm and bloody bandage
funny thing is the people were angry because I came to school with my open arm

yes I know
people are ignorant
I changed my bandage at school and finished the day.
Because I could not care less about what they had to say

after that I went to a doctor, she said,
what happened?
I did not tell her anything.
I said could you stitch my arm?
Six stitches later I became a hater,
I was thinking about many people and that I would get them later

there are so many people that deserve to die
and so many people with problems that try to live a lie

but hey I owe you the rest for another song
its all so complicated and if you hate it,
go f*** yourself
this is my life and I don't fake it

come on go go and think about it
your life go make it and see how the people around you fake it