Colours in the sky

You try to show me the colours in the sky, but all I see is grey.
For me it is as dark as the night, even during the day.
You show me a sunlit sky, I see its last moment, and the last moment my eye could catch.
I saw the sun going down, hiding behind earth’s edge.
You show me the blue air above our head.
I look a little further and see how bad it's going to get.
You show me the rainbow far, far away, but my interest disappears in vain.
When I see the things that created it, a little sun and lots of rain.
You try to open my eyes, want me to see clearly.
But I always feel the fog around me.
My sight is blocked, my brain occupied and my heart sad.
Why did they tell me, why did they tell me you are dead.
To me you were my inspiration, for me you are my drive.
To me, you still feel so much alive.
Alive in my heart, alive in my head, alive in my memory.
I try to keep you alive so desperately.
Don't go, don't leave.
Don't leave me behind, here with nothing left beside my grief.
Please, watch my back. Please don't let go of me.
Please come back, please hold me again so firmly.
I rather die, than speak the words, farewell and goodbye.